Desert of the Real

it occurs to me that, contrary to what i've believed the previous years, i'm not on a mission to further the development of human understanding. on a crusade of some sorts, yes, but not with the intention of bettering humanity. my endless tirades on all the downsides of some of our current paradigms of understanding is simply just me grinding my axe in my state of dysfunctionality. this world suits me rather poorly and i'll have you know it thank you very much. really i think its just a matter of battling feelings of smallness. i was born into a template and the template fit in some places and in others areas it didnt and these poorer fitting areas are even today like large open wounds. but somehow its more important to me not to conform than to elude the pain that comes from alienation and dysfunction. i refuse to change and at the same time i insist upon my suffering. in my stubbornness i've become Atlas. i reject the world and shudder with fear as it draws further into the distance. but something interesting happens when i push the world away. as everything disappears into the dim horizon a myriad of images leap out of the woodwork to keep me company. just as when night descends and the dreamworld comes to life so it is when reality is suppressed and all the animals of the imagination come out to play. unlike the real world whose parameters are finite and limited, the unreal world has none and is infinite and limitless. the beings who live in the imagination are magic beings. they do the undoable. just because they are not real doesn't make them any less fantastic.

so i visit my fantasies often. if the world shall refuse them, i shall refuse the world. i think all the best of my little imaginary animals, they mean the world to me. i nurture them because they add something to my life. they are the mystery, the x-factor. i'll even go out of my way to meet other peoples imaginary animals. they are well hid in most circumstances. we say we stick to the real stuff in the real world. "best not let your real get mixed up with your unreal". you wouldn't want your imaginary friends wandering around in other peoples backyards. it might cause a commotion.